Aries (March 21 – April 19) Some astrologists say Aries are confrontational, but we say that’s fucking bullshit. Someone needs to tell everyone what posers…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Roommates at punk/party house the Snake Pit are reportedly growing alarmed by the complete lack of water intake by fellow resident…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local woman Maria Phillips narrowly escaped embarrassment yesterday when she convinced visitors that the sex toy she accidentally left out was actually…
TORONTO — Hardcore veterans Conceited Eyes confronted their long-time merch guy Tony Lankins yesterday after finding his name listed in the “members” section of their…
MISSOULA, Mont. — Local stoner Zannah Meyers concluded that the weed she smoked this afternoon must be “extremely shitty,” after a near-hour of puffing resulted…
ALLSTON, Mass. — Local musician Doug Robinson attempted to borrow a bassoon last night for his set with folk-punk octet Rat Solidarity, assuming one of…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Mickey Smith, the drummer of local rock band Forager Hunt, asked lead guitarist Charlie Palone yet again last night to turn around…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local parents Joyce and Rich Gloppin have severely overestimated their 9th-grade daughter Dani’s social standing and ability to obtain illicit, cool drugs,…
MISSOULA, Mont. — Uniformed Missoula Police officers David McClusky and Gerald Schmidt arrived 15 minutes before the opening act at the unlicensed venue The Gnarhouse…
MADISON, Wis. — Audience members watching nü-metal band Dizguzt last night slowly realized that frontman Colin Greene genuinely couldn’t hear their confirmation that they were…
WICHITA, Kan. — Local student Adam Irving was stunned to learn that Brick Teeth frontman Kevin Gillion had awarded the audience a coveted “Best Crowd…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local show-goer Tommy Gill was informed by irate staff at Fitzie’s Pub last night that the item he used as a bidet…
LONDON, England — A giant, nearly two-meter long baby was flown over London Square today, prompting confusion and outrage among local residents. The controversial appearance…
SEA RANCH, Calif. — A recent study confirmed that every single password created with online music company Bandcamp is comprised of just the name of…
Concert Video Blocked by Tall YouTube Comment
LOS ANGELES — Music aficionado and noted short person Heather Allred’s YouTube-watching experience was interrupted last night when a tall, clueless comment obstructed her view…