WICHITA, Kan. — Local student Adam Irving was stunned to learn that Brick Teeth frontman Kevin Gillion had awarded the audience a coveted “Best Crowd Ever” distinction during their show last Tuesday, excited sources confirmed.
“This is my first ever gig, and I’m part of the best crowd ever. I mean, we’re making history here — I can’t believe my luck!” said Irving, after the victory was announced to the largely unresponsive attendees. “I was way surprised the band thought our stock was so good, you know? There are tons of people chatting, and all the older dudes by the bar aren’t really paying attention. I’m not sure how other crowds normally act, but I love that we are the best.”
Irving confirmed he bought two t-shirts and a cassette demo from the merch table to commemorate the moment.
“I had to get something from this show. I don’t even have a tape player in the house, but you gotta get a souvenir to show people,” said Irving still reeling from the honor. “Does anyone know if the Guinness World Records people showed up at any point? They need to know what happened here tonight.”
Gillion later explained why he anointed the half-capacity crowd as the “best ever.”
“This is one of the last shows on the tour, and I’m a little tired. So I just busted out all the standard on-stage banter,” said Gillion. “I don’t even remember saying they were the best ever. I do know two guys starting fighting halfway through the set… that was really the only thing that set this crowd apart from the countless others.”
However, when Irving later informed a friend of the award, Irving was shocked by his friend’s response.
“My friend Joe texted back, saying the band he went to see across town said the same thing to their crowd tonight,” said Irving. “ So I’m heading over there with my mom right now to punch that lying prick in the junk.”
Photo by Kat Chish.