Hardcore Tag Archives - Page 378

post-hardcore, debate, 2020, hardcore, melodic, argue, poser

2020 Presidential Debate to Include Question on What Constitutes “Real” Post-Hardcore

Clara Endres • September 29, 2020

CLEVELAND — Moderators for 2020’s first Presidential debate reportedly added a question regarding an issue that’s been hotly contested since…

Read More →

the offspring, dexter holland, punk, singer, guitarist, sex, bang, 90s, sleep with, mom, milf, mother, skate punk

REPORT: Mom Keeps Dropping Hints She Fucked Dexter Holland Once

Patrick Coyne • September 29, 2020

COSTA MESA, Calif. — Slightly tipsy local mom Candace Webber keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints that she fucked The Offspring singer…

Read More →

dick, old men, boner, sick, patriarchy, erection, dysfunction, soft, flaccid

Coronavirus Instantly Cured After Scientists Discover It Can Cause Erectile Dysfunction

Louie Aronowitz • September 28, 2020

ATLANTA — A team of male researchers reportedly discovered the cure for COVID-19 yesterday, mere seconds after a correlation between…

Read More →

marriage, engaged, wedding, death, health, sick, unhealthy, ring, green, pink

REPORT: No One Actually Expects Newly-Engaged Punk Couple to Live Until Wedding Day

John Danek • September 28, 2020

HARRISBURG, Pa. — Those invited to celebrate the marriage of punk drummer Scotty Corless and slaughterhouse foreman Anna “Slander” Dietrich…

Read More →

plans, friends, get together, college, 9 years

Plans To Definitely Get Together Soon Now In Ninth Year

Patrick Crooks • September 27, 2020

ATLANTA — College friends Aisha Brooks and Jason Haley promised to get together soon yet again today, just as they…

Read More →

disease, illness, sick, song, title, brutal, badass, metal, metal singer

Metal Singer Just Diagnosed with Obscure Terminal Disease Thinks That Would Be a Pretty Sick Song Title

Michael Luis • September 27, 2020

CLEVELAND — Engorged Pustule singer Alec Matthewson, recently diagnosed with a debilitating, deadly illness known as spinocerebellar ataxia, realized today…

Read More →

spider, huge, arachnid, scary, bug, drums, kit

Report: Drum Kit Belongs to That Huge Spider Now

Kyle Stanley • September 27, 2020

MANKATO, Minn. — Speedwolf drummer Levi Daniels abandoned his Tama Swingstar kit and assorted hardware yesterday to a “pants-shittingly” large…

Read More →

podcast, audio, inaudible, loud, mixing, listen

Podcast’s First Episode Oscillates Between Being Inaudible, Blowing Ears Out

John Danek • September 26, 2020

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — A new podcast by an Indiana University-Bloomington sophomore created to discuss emerging math rock bands abruptly switches…

Read More →

john oliver, talk show, host, crazy, mental, time, quarantine, endless, numb, scary

“A Week Tonight” Replaces “Last Week Tonight” as Quarantined John Oliver Loses Grip on Time

Daniel Menegaz • September 26, 2020

NEW YORK — HBO replaced its popular late night talk-show “Last Week Tonight” with “A Week Tonight” following a deterioration…

Read More →

pink, girl, gender, middle east, dry, hot, bomb, kill, violent, injustice, bad

U.S. Military Considers Dropping Gender Reveal Bombs in Middle East

Jay Shingle • September 26, 2020

WASHINGTON — The Department of Defense began compiling a report this week aimed at assessing the viability of gender reveal…

Read More →

Stay Updated on The Latest Punk News