LOS ANGELES — Music aficionado and noted short person Heather Allred’s YouTube-watching experience was interrupted last night when a tall, clueless comment obstructed her view of the video, sources close to the impeded woman confirmed.
“I’d never watched any live Ramones before, and I figured I had some time to kill, so I opened YouTube on my laptop,” the 5’1” production assistant said of the “The Ramones – Germany FULL SHOW – 9/13/78” video she chose. “And then, a few minutes in, it happened — some idiot’s obnoxiously tall comment totally blocked by view of the video. Like, it could have commented from anywhere, but it had to get right in front of my screen? Typical.”
The comment, inexplicably fitted with a giant backpack and large hat, was allegedly posted in 2011 by user heavybison, which read, “Dang u all seeing this? Wow what a good band wish we had them around 2day.” A single reply asking, “could you move this plz,” prompted a frustrated reaction from the comment.
“Listen, I have just as much of a right to comment on these things as anyone else. I can’t help it if I’m wordy and my crazy font takes up a bunch of space,” the comment stated. “If someone can’t see past me, they should have got here earlier. End of story.”
Those close to Allred sympathize with her situation.
“Watching concert videos has always been a struggle for [Heather],” said roommate Alyssa Dao. “Just last week we tried to watch a Bad Brains bootleg thing that was interrupted by a 5,000-word comment about how ‘punks today aren’t real punks.’ I’ve even seen her struggle to see over comments from, like, 16-year-old kids. I know it’s frustrating.”
“Do they make, like, digital chairs she could stand on in the back or something?” wondered the concerned roommate.
At press time, sources say Allred has finally found a 2005 Misfits video that has disabled commenting. Early reports indicate, however, that the 45-second video was recorded on a Motorola RAZR phone with no sound.