Jordan Liffengren
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SEATTLE, Wash. — Newly sober punk Dustin Patterson swore off alcohol after he experienced his first-ever bowel movement with a…
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James Knapp
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HARTFORD, Conn. — Elder millennial Thomas Sharpe is reportedly in “critical and deteriorating condition” after erroneously believing that his haggard…
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Brisa Sylvestre
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MANCHESTER, N.H. — The Foxhole Saloon, bartender Mickey Stevens reportedly maintains the trashy ambiance of the bar by dumping a…
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Nathan Kamal
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EUGENE, Ore. — Leo Radler, a bartender at local pub The Swampland, is completely unaware that many of the regular…
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Daniel Freborg
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BOSTON – Local beer lover Ryan Kensington fleetingly experienced a sobering thought while in the midst of a bout of…
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Ben Friedman
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SANTA FE, N.M. — Local punk Trevor McGill was shocked but not surprised to find the only existing photo of…
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Dan Kozuh
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It is the time of year again when my company forces all of its employees to congregate in a cramped…
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Ben Friedman
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Ugh, what a day. I never want to see the inside of a courtroom again! Seriously, you drive drunk through…
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Alex Vlahov
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It’s almost 2 a.m., you’re at the end of your shift, and you want to send a gentle message to…
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Nathan Kamal
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The Star Trek franchise mostly takes place centuries from now, when humanity has rid itself of its worst instincts, gotten…
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