Face tattoos are the ultimate sign of someone who doesn’t give a shit, or doesn’t realize how stupid a face tattoo actually looks. But which…
Who can we really turn to in times of crisis? Who among our friends, family, and associates can we truly depend upon to help us…
One of the cool things about the decline of America is that they sell shrooms at bodegas now. I walked out of that corner store…
50 Cartoon Characters Ranked By How Likely They Are to See the Divine Light of the Kingdom of Heaven
50 Cartoon Characters Ranked By How Likely They Are to See the Divine Light of the Kingdom of Heaven
Good morrow, fellows. My name is Piteousness Baille. I am, this year, celebrating my 106th birthday. I am one of the last remaining members of…
SpongeBob Squarepants. What do we know about him? He lives in a pineapple, but then again, who doesn’t? Said pineapple happens to be under the…
COLUMBUS, Ohio – Superhero and crusader for the environment Captain Planet is reportedly ready to throw in the towel on his quest to conserve nature’s…
Unless you’ve been living in a cave on Tiny Planet for the last few months, you know that Justin Roiland’s career has been rickety-rickety-WRECKED by…
Ay Caramba! Did “The Simpsons” again predict the future? One eagle-eyed viewer believes he spotted a truly unnerving and possibly earth-shattering new prediction in a…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local parents Jean and Tom Decker finally decided it’s acceptable to let their middle-aged son watch that new Beavis and Butthead movie,…
Okay hear us out. Lately there’s been a lot of hoopla over-representation in Disney films. People have finally figured out that the true path to…
Portland, Ore. — Local woman Rachel Vance claims that if she had a cartoon counterpart it would be the sarcastic, intelligent Daria Morgendorffer, despite ample…
COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out of retirement and help as…
LONDON — A team of Paleontologists excavating an abandoned music studio uncovered what they believe to be evidence that Gorillaz at one point routinely made…
WASHINGTON — A CDC annual report detailing the various causes of death in the United States noted that “being crushed by a falling piano,” while…
Kevin Smith’s “Masters of the Universe: Revelation” is a faithful continuation of 1983’s “He-Man,” chock full of the colorful villains and heroes we all know…