Unless you’ve been living in a cave on Tiny Planet for the last few months, you know that Justin Roiland’s career has been rickety-rickety-WRECKED by revelations of grooming, solicitation of minors, and other problematic behaviors.
The internet’s favorite titular heroes are going to need a new voice actor for season 7 and beyond. If you think you’re perfect for the role, we have good news! A number of mood-stabilizing medications are available to help treat you.
A tried and true classic, Lithium is arguably the “Rickest Rick” of medications to treat mania, hypo-mania, and bipolar disorder. Common side effects of lithium include feeling or being sick, a dry mouth, a chronic metallic taste in your mouth, and diarrhea. But hey, as a true Rick and Morty fan, is there anything funnier than having diarrhea?
Maybe you think you should be the voice of Rick Sanchez because you know what it’s like to be in constant pain, due to your genius. If so, Abilify could be your ticket back to the same corner of the central finite curve as the rest of us! Get a doctor, and then talk to that doctor about Abilify.
Think you should voice the smartest man in the galaxy because you’re also “awesome” at self-medicating? Try regular medicating! Sure it can cause dizziness and lightheadedness, but so can your usual booze weed and Adderall cocktail.
Have you been listening to every episode of Harmontown on a loop since 2014? Do you believe this qualifies you to be the new voice of Rick Sanchez, or maybe even a world leader? Seroquel can rebalance the dopamine and serotonin in your brain.
Do you think you should be the new Rick and Morty because you’re an accomplished voice actor who understands the characters? Okay, maybe you should go for it. Just to be safe though, consider Risperidone. No actor is fully sane.