Billy Patterson
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PHILADELPHIA — Local bassist Aaron Scherzinger realized today that he only needs to murder two or three of his bandmates…
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Dan Kozuh
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LOS ANGELES — The holographic image of late heavy metal icon Ronnie James Dio has broken away from its original…
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Dan Kozuh
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CLEVELAND — Recently formed metal band Blood & Soil has forgone music as its first public release, instead issuing formal…
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John Danek
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LOS ANGELES — Three members of local punk quartet The Herniated Dicks defied Los Angeles’ stringent coronavirus quarantine guidelines to…
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Jason VanSlycke
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DENTON, Texas — Children's literature icon Waldo was found yesterday within a local black metal band logo after nearly 30…
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Anthony Robinson
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NEW YORK — Local white woman Rebecca Shulz went viral today after calling The Police a better band than The…
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WASHINGTON — Governors from all 50 states agreed that shelter-in-place orders would firmly remain on your shitty band as the…
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James Webster
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LOS ANGELES — Local metalhead Rob Kurtz was reportedly called out at the grocery store yesterday for converting an old…
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Ted Pillow
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SEATTLE — Punk band Knuckle Fist is being forced to give 80% of their economic stimulus check to their record…
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Chuck Kowalski
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ELKINS, W.Va. — Country Chodes bass player Jared Cole doesn’t realize his bandmates have had him muted for almost the…
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