CHICAGO — Friends and family of local “all-around artist” Will Bell braced themselves today after Bell posted a cryptic message on Facebook claiming he had…
PHOENIX — Local 30-year-old Arun Sharma tested today whether or not he can use expletives in front of his parents, as he’s still unsure if…
Poetic Justice: This Guitar Center Employee Just Sat in My House and Played With a Blender Then Left
Poetic Justice: This Guitar Center Employee Just Sat in My House and Played With a Blender Then Left
I wish I could take it back. I wish I had never set foot into that Guitar Center just before close and played guitar until…
PITTSBURGH — A local film club consisting entirely of goths announced today that their next event will feature a screening of the 1994 film “The…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local punk Hazel Mason ate her entire three-day supply of weed earlier today while standing in line to enter The Fest, trying…
Dear Scabby: My boyfriend is a total shithead. Habitual liar and addicted to pain killers. The problem is we’re both starving artists and I need…
Do you remember Paul? He used to be one of the craziest, most hardcore punks in the scene. He was the guy that pierced his…
CONCORD, Calif. — A local punk teenager resisted becoming “a vessel for consumerist propaganda” today by immediately covering the logo on her brand-new Jansport backpack…
RALEIGH, N.C. — Talented up-and-coming mosher Kurt Scalloway is unable to participate in hardcore activities for roughly one month, after doctors and cobblers confirmed he…
WASHINGTON — The National Rifle Association demanded today fewer restrictions surrounding the purchase and use of U.S. senators, in response to growing calls across the…
The infamous, anonymous street artist Banksy is as known for his subversive artwork as his reclusive nature. Imagine our surprise when he immediately agreed to…
HOLLYWOOD — Netflix began production last month on an original docudrama based on the life and antics of shock-rocker GG Allin that will star Oscar-winner…
LOS ANGELES — A mysterious pair of sunglasses discovered by local crust punk and drifter Rick “Zilch” Toombs allegedly allow him to see which punks…
SANDUSKY, Ohio — Sandusky resident Brent Farrett, well-known for his racism-free skeleton, was flabbergasted yesterday by his diagnosis of “acute degenerative brain racism,” sources close…
The debate over who started punk rock is as legendary as it is pointless. Legendary, because of the transatlantic feud between The Ramones and The…