FLINT, Mich. — Documentarian Bernard Oliver “simply had no choice” but to make his own life story an integral part of the fabric of his…
Hey, we get it- you’re not into sports. That’s cool. But what’s not cool is how every year you see people around you getting all…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Security personnel kept a close eye last night on a shady-looking man standing on the edge of the mosh pit, holding a…
DURHAM, N.C. — Acid Frankenstein singer Patrick Morris happily announced last night that he was already “loaded in and ready to go” two minutes after…
BUMFUCK, Iowa — The small, central Iowa town of Bumfuck announced plans today to honor its eponymous founder Arthur Bumfuck in a centennial festival scheduled…
We get it, you were just passing through and saw enough free samples to fashion together a full meal. You know the food is technically…
OXFORD, England — An android created by the Oxford Department of Engineering has reportedly worried incessantly since the mid-’90s that it accidentally hurt Radiohead singer…
AUGUSTA, Ga. — A crowd of people that accidentally erupted in applause for a headlining band’s guitar tech last night collectively agreed to remain silent…
ATLANTA — Local man Armand Phillips was arrested yesterday and faces multiple federal charges, ranging from terrorism to reckless endagerment, after parachuting into Hartsfield-Jackson Airport…
What do you get for the man who seems to have no personality or interest in anything whatsoever? Every year you realize that you know…
NORTH MANCHESTER, Ind. — Middle-aged punk John Miaza recalled today exactly which high school class he was skipping when the first plane crashed into the…
DUBLIN — A local man excitedly caught a single drumstick last night at a Psychic Lizard show, and now reportedly has no idea what to…
CHESANING, Mich. — A sandwich bag containing approximately four grams of oregano was successfully sold to a group of middle school kids under the pretense…
I’m a simple man that likes the simple things in life. I like rare steak, cold beer, and fishing on Sundays. Unlike some of the…
CHICAGO — A beloved crust punk belonging to the Donovan family died last night on a United Airlines flight from San Francisco to Chicago after…