NEW YORK — Local punk and scene veteran Ruby St. John’s mammary glands were diagnosed with CTE today after sustaining her 17,000th elbow shot during…
In the age of talking head info-tainment we have lost the art of discourse. We have misplaced the notion that just because someone disagrees with…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — The physical limitations of a Velcro wallet were put to the test early yesterday evening when local man Jason Wagner received change…
Since my transformation from a nice guy (but like, a legit actual nice guy) to a certified male feminist last week, I’ve been viewing everything…
BOSTON — A landmark study by a rowdy crew of sloshed scientists at the Harvard School of Drunk Studies have found a definitive link between…
CHICAGO — One-time ska fan Rob Brewer attended a Mighty Mighty Bosstones show last night, where he was disappointed to learn the band wrote a…
So you think Sanders or Warren would make a good president, huh? And you still insist on calling our current president “Commander in Queef?” Very…
FARGO, N.D. — Account manager Jamie Duncan is in disbelief that she will lose everything in her upcoming split from the mid-level job she has…
Oh, you’re a Wu-Tang Clan fan too? Huh. Then name all of the members. I’ll wait. Oh, ok. Nice. But I bet you can’t tell…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Rotund drummer Mike Crenshaw overcame the insecurities associated with his body by leaving his shirt on during a recent set at a…
BOSTON — Local straight edger Alana Enders’ depression ostensibly reached a new low when she told the bartender at White Horse Tavern to “leave the…
We all know self-absorbed people. These one-sided relationships wear us down and deplete our resources. It is a person’s actions, not age, that should determine…
At The Hard Times we think it’s important to look back on iconic albums that made influenced us and have stood the test of time.…
NEW YORK — A barista at a New York City Starbucks struck a somber tone yesterday, wishing that more of his customers would care that…
YOUR FRIEND’S LIVING ROOM — Multiple sources at the party you’re currently attending confirmed that it would be “totally weird” if we were to kiss…