EWELL, Md. — Local wife Anna Schomaeker grew suspicious of her husband Zeke last week after discovering a second pair of Levi’s 501 jeans in…
WASHINGTON — A new study released last week by the Pew Research Center suggests that nearly 12% fewer Americans identify as Christ reborn compared to…
No regrets they say. Live like it’s your last day. Yeah, well, I used to be that way- so carefree and full of whimsy. That…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Vans President Kevin Bailey verified at a press conference yesterday that the company’s sneakers are meticulously crafted to be absolutely devastated…
PHILADELPHIA — Guitar Center employee Henry Stiltz dragged another day’s worth of unsold gear to the dumpster at the end of his shift Tuesday, according…
NEW YORK — Vice writer Evan Walsh spent countless hours last week trying to find something problematic about a recent viral meme featuring Spongebob Squarepants…
When I first watched Yojimbo in my high school film study class I distinctly remember thinking “This is probably for like, intelligent people.” Now, 10…
INDIANAPOLIS — Oskar Wesley, the 15-year-old frontman of the winner of the 2019 Indianapolis Public School System Battle of the Bands, announced in an interview…
SYDNEY — Acclaimed film composer Hans Zimmer shocked audience members at the Sydney Opera House last night when he appeared onstage at the venue’s historic…
GALVESTON, Texas — Polyamorous man Bryce Tarryton asked his recently engaged friends last week if he could trade in his plus-one wedding invitation for a…
Listen up, snowflakes! As some of you know, my douchebag SJW singer Simon threatened to bring a new guitarist into our band The Keychain Stranglers…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Mid-level pop-punk band Cabbagepatchkids will never know how close they were to making it big, thanks to the total neglect of their…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local man Connor Heath still regrets breaking up with his college girlfriend 20 years on, admitting today that he never got over…
LANCASTER, Pa. — Police officers on the scene of a texting and driving accident last night that claimed the life of a local teen confirmed…
The genre defining career of Bob Dylan was brought to an abrupt and tragic end just moments ago after the legendary singer songwriter wandered into…