PEORIA, Ill. — Local guitarist Matt Carlton asked his Sweetwater sales rep today to be in his wedding as his best man in a truly…
I divide my life into two segments. The first part was the darkness. I worked as an audiovisual artist taking audio clips of Ram Dass,…
NEW YORK — Columbia Records announced on Friday they will be teaming up with Banana Republic to press Vampire Weekend’s new Father of the Bride…
LOS ANGELES — Garage-rock frontman Julian Wood asked a casual female acquaintance yesterday for naked photos in an effort to save a flailing conversation, Wood…
ATLANTA — Local drummer Drew Mooney plans to sit around and just go fuck himself for the next few weeks as other members of his…
TRENTON, N.J. — Local hardcore band Open Sesame debuted a unique and unprecedented combination of tunings at their inaugural show last night, witnesses who lamented…
It is a historical fact that Andrew Jackson was a shit-eating bag of limp dicks and prolapsed buttholes. As a punk publication, the Hard Times…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local woman and online shopper Darla Castro is reconsidering her lack of children after a search for her favorite band’s shirt yielded only…
BOSTON — Philosophy major Patrick Cartelli returned yesterday from three months studying abroad in London with several new mannerisms, including an insistence on spelling “poser”…
At first glance, the names Cyrus and Jeff might not mean anything to you. They’re a couple of guys who’ve known each other since grade…
NANUET, N.Y. — Local new, potential best friends Mark Hughes and Brady Walker confirmed that they shared the most beautiful moment of their respective lives…
DENVER — Local marijuana enthusiast Toby Strickland is “pretty sure” he is the first to invent CBD-infused marijuana, which he believes is an opportunity to…
SAN DIEGO — Aspiring Reddit user and avowed Blink-182 fan Stuart Brennan was flabbergasted Saturday evening as he attempted to create an account for the…
WASHINGTON — An increasing number of Americans are relying on monetized Youtube covers of Toto’s “Africa” to make ends meet despite record-low unemployment and unprecedented…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Greenpoint-based shitty bookstore Books, Beanz n’ Beats Cafe is also known for being a shitty coffee shop and shitty record store, thanks…