As a proud member of the alt-right (and recent college graduate with a degree in English Literature thank you very much), I understand that most…
PHILADELPHIA — Outspoken supporters of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden, known as “Biden Bros,” are reportedly harassing potential voters via handwritten letters sent through the…
When coronavirus first reared it’s ugly, highly-contagious head, you panicked and started hoarding as many home essentials as you could get your greedy, obsessively-washed hands…
AUSTIN, Texas — Social media marketing manager Anthony Skipper forwarded a complaint about his tortimese housecat Nickels moments ago to his HR rep, Sassafras, who…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — The cam girl you’ve been throwing money at when you should have been working from home is “probably about $1,000 or…
With the increase of social distancing amidst the coronavirus crisis, it is truly the perfect time to self-care, which also makes it the perfect time…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — A heavily discounted DVD of the Steve Carell vehicle “Evan Almighty” is “really fucking pushing it” by having the audacity to call…
Detroit resident Megan Munoz is a multimedia artist, local activist, musician, and dedicated philanthropist who is best known as “the girl who dates that dude…
MACON, Ga. — Local Civil War reenactor, blogger, and aspiring mass shooter Randolph Cunningham was forced to go door to door yesterday to find victims…
LOS ANGELES — The producers of the hit HBO docu-series “McMillions” are pitching their next fast food true crime story, “Dethroned,” based on the tragic,…
DENVER — Local nerd Eugene Boscroft asked aghast record store employees moments ago to help him find old compilations from Fat Wreck Chords, which he…
When an algorithm recommended we review 50 frozen pizzas after analyzing a cross-section of our audience, we thought we hit the jackpot. We love pizza,…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — The collective U.S. student loan debt held a press conference early this morning, claiming that it isn’t looking for anyone’s forgiveness, just…
I’m balding! And I’m super nervous in general. I’m only 39 and I’ve had my prostate checked eight times. I’m a nervous bald guy! I’m…
NEW YORK — Stock photo websites jacked up their prices today for pictures of financial workers on Wall Street looking dejected on the trading floor…