DEMING, N.M. — Local insurance salesman Ben Romero was written up today for missing work for the second day in a row with no phone…
Can I be happy? Will I ever find love? Does any of this even fucking matter? While the answer to each of these questions is…
YONKERS, N.Y. — 83-year-old Judith Swanson tragically passed away last night at New York Presbyterian Hospital due to complications from a lethal hoax perpetrated by…
Mastery isn’t about talent. Mastery is about dedication, sacrifice, and an insatiable passion for something you love. I should have really focused on that last…
WASHINGTON — President Trump showcased his overflowing Easter basket earlier today after outperforming “low IQ” children during the annual Easter egg hunt on the White…
LAS VEGAS — “Undercover Boss” and Biscotti Pizza CEO Alex Prescott is pretty pissed he risked his own well-being when he asked himself to come…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local strip club The Devil’s Crutch displayed their commitment to public health yesterday by retrofitting their sprinkler system with Purell following its…
The coronavirus pandemic is causing catastrophic and multivalent shock waves that will impact global trade, geopolitics, and social norms for years to come. Tragically, its…
ELKINS, W.Va. — Country Chodes bass player Jared Cole doesn’t realize his bandmates have had him muted for almost the entirety of their rehearsal held…
KEENE, N.H. — Local bartender Erika Crawford was devastated today by her positive diagnosis for COVID-19 along with several types of rare cancer following a…
Noted pop culture collectible company Funko will be expanding their line of vinyl figures with their latest release, Coronavirus. But isn’t it a little too…
VACAVILLE, Calif. — Local rhythm guitarist Glenn Wemple is increasingly worried about all this “non-essential” talk amid the coronavirus pandemic and the ensuing social distancing…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Wendell Slacks, who has consistently boasted throughout the years about how proud he is to not own a TV, looks…
One of the best parts of working for The Hard Times is getting to sit down with all of the celebrities, punk legends, and interesting…
WILLIMANTIC, Conn. — Emo revival favorites The World Is a Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die are reportedly considering a name…