VENICE, Calif. — Local hardcore guy Dan “Nukka” Reilly was rushed to the emergency room with massive blood loss yesterday after attempting to remove the…
RICHMOND Va. — Heavy metal legends GWAR picked up the wrong penis-clad monster costume from the dry cleaners yesterday in a mishap that may have…
ST. LOUIS — Local Grandma Delores “Meemaw” Naggi is still trying to recall the name of “the doohickey Mr. So-and-So had” from that totally irrelevant…
TAMPA, Fla. — Death metal veterans Cannibal Corpse have launched a signature line of embalming fluids called “Cadaverous Conservation” in a move to supplement their…
MEQUON, Wis. — Online friends and otherwise total strangers Oscar Bean and Freddie Wagner have no idea how to end a Messenger conversation they initiated…
Your mother and I never thought we’d see the day that our child would sit us down and tell us that they aren’t a boy.…
VENICE, Calif. — Punk rock was granted near-full custody today of seminal punk/metal band Suicidal Tendencies, with Metal receiving alternating weekends and some holidays, in…
So, you consider yourself a fan of folk punk? Not just a passive listener who knows some Daniel Johnston tunes, but a real, true fan…
NEW YORK — Local music fan Jim Castro admitted today that he has never listened to his favorite album, the 42-minute indie rock record “No…
As a health-conscious individual, taking care of my body is important to me. I am the head priest of the temple that is my body…
HERSHEY, Pa. — Divorced father of three Scott Timmons is happy he botched his custody hearing, now that his children no longer attend in-person schooling,…
When the opportunity arose to speak with producer, engineer, and musician Steve Albini, we spared no expense making sure our questions were up to par…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local single Tomas Hart was stunned to learn yesterday that Marianne Shaw, a goth woman with whom he’s shared three dates, stood…
Like many of you, we here at The Hard Times got sick and tired of hearing our racist loser uncles complain about being in Facebook…
FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — Clint Herrera, the songwriter and lead singer for local punk band Dios Muerte, frantically tried to close a Rhymezone browser tab yesterday…