As we’ve all learned first hand from our uncles at any family function, alcohol can have a devastating effect on the human mind and body.…
HYATTSVILLE, Md. — Local Millennial Dave Simmons, flipping through channels in the wee hours during a visit to his parents’ house, wistfully recalled today the…
SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Conservative true-crime podcast “Roe vs. Pod” will maintain its sharp focus on legal and safe abortions as the show enters its…
MILWAUKEE — A feral hair-metal band identifying itself as Twisted Sister broke into the home of and terrorized a local family yesterday, ultimately leaving the…
SEATTLE — A passionate bout of intercourse between local couple Robert Levin and Andrea MacNeil was put on hold this afternoon to flip a record…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Yesterday’s funeral for beloved ska frontman Bruce Becker was strangely positive despite the somber occasion, due to several self-described “rude boys” dancing…
With 15 films under his belt, it’s safe to say that M. Night Shyamalan has had a prolific career. This is a problem since most…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk and weed enthusiast Sam “Switch” Gremillion inserted his penis into an old bong Wednesday afternoon in a desperate attempt at…
With COVID cases on the rise in numerous parts of the country, it’s not uncommon to wonder if a scratchy throat or chronic headache could…
WASHINGTON — ‘90s rap-rock icon Kid Rock is currently having a full blown panic attack after “dropping a major league deuce” and clogging the toilet…
Coward Hour is the least-informed podcast in America. Each week, leading cowards/disgraced comedians Brendan Krick & Nik Oldershaw spiral on mic, commit gaffes, and descend…
BETHESDA, Md. — President Donald Trump is recovering from COVID-19 symptoms and home from the hospital where he keeps asking doctors when he can have…
LOS ANGELES — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences will add a Performative Allyship category for next year’s ceremony to celebrate actors who…
RUTLAND, Vt. — Local eco-douchebag Morgan Lence is reportedly living a completely vegan lifestyle, despite his claim to be a “total carnivore” when it comes…
It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that I was forced to close my beloved indie movie theater. I’ve done all I…