Mindfulness meditation, the practice of remaining present and aware in the moment, has been sweeping America as 2020 only seemed to get worse and worse. But you are already so busy taking meds and guzzling alcohol to numb your nerves that you feel you don’t have time for meditation, right? Guess again.
You don’t have to be a monk or sit on a cushion for hours at a time to take advantage of mindfulness practices. Here are five simple ways you can incorporate mindfulness into your already hectic medicating and drinking schedule.
Take a Deep Belly Breath in Between Shots
So, you lined up five shots of cheap whiskey that you plan to down before passing out in bed. How about you take a 4-second breath deep in your belly and 8-second exhale before taking that next shot. It’s sort of like a drinking game for your soul.
Meditate at CVS While Waiting for Your Xanax Refill
Sure, you could look at overpriced Mac & Cheese or enemas but instead sit in that uncomfortable plastic chair and meditate while you wait for your medication. Listen to the soothing tones of a muzak version of Third Eye Blind’s Semi-Charmed Life while half-gazing at Emily Ratajkowski on the cover of People Magazine.
Record Positive Affirmations to Play Back, Especially While Having a Bad Trip
So, that acid isn’t hitting very well and you are starting to spiral into self-hatred and paranoia. If you record some positive affirmation about yourself into your phone beforehand you can play them back when you need them most. It will be just like having your own trip sitter with you telling you great you are while you puke.
Be Present While Drinking in the Shower
You are on minute twenty of a shower and a beer; the hot water is just about gone and so is the beer. How much of that shower were you actually present for or were you thinking about existential dread? Take a moment to feel the water on your skin or the taste of beer and tears on your lips.
Journal While High
Don’t waste the time after you just got extremely high, grab a pen and paper and just write down whatever comes to mind. Studies show that journaling can help ease anxiety, plus I bet you will come up with some crazy creative shit writing while baked. However, we don’t recommend ever reading what you wrote while sober, better yet, just burn the journal and assume it was genius, that’s more zen or whatever.