NEW YORK — Spotify CEO Daniel Ek reportedly won .0005% custody of his children in a landmark hearing yesterday, according to leaked court documents and…
VENICE BEACH, Calif. — Life coach and retired engineer Howard Boyd was seen at the outdoor seating area of the Living Room Cafe on Sunday…
As I am a very clever and unique person, my favorite Christmas movie is, of course, totally non-traditional. But I’m not talking about some plebeian…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Local millennial David Hickman Jr. very nearly sent his father a lengthy, impassioned explanation yesterday of why his allegedly “harmless jokes”…
A recent study conducted by the Institute for the Advanced Study of Sociology revealed that men are upwards of 90% more likely to believe in…
SACRAMENTO — Local punk house staple and thought to be beloved cat GG Mewollin is actually an opossum, veterinary sources confirmed. “GG is a fucking…
Every environmentally-minded millennial knows the pain of forgetting their reusable grocery bag. Unfortunately, it’s just too easy to buy a new one once you’re at…
SHERIDAN, Wyo. — A heartfelt and impassioned announcement from Facebook user Glenn Davies today left dozens scratching their heads wondering how in the fuck they…
It’s not my job to educate you. It’s your job to stop being ignorant. I understand that it’s easier for you to divide everyone you…
DALLAS — Local Rude Boy Rodney Willet acknowledged his privilege to the world yesterday by confessing that in his years on Earth, he’s never once…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — A belligerent swarm of locusts unexpectedly stormed the presidential debate stage on Thursday landing directly on Donald Trump’s head and remaining there…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “Dove Soap-loving jagoff” Dan Paulson thinks he’s “king shit of hygiene town” all because he wakes up…
I have always been sensitive to the emotions of people around me. When a baby cries, I cry. When someone is hurt, I hurt. When…
LONDON — Oasis founding member Liam Gallagher has tested positive for COVID-19, and is finally willing to reconcile with his brother Noel as long as…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local 32-year-old Brendan Muller decided today that he will stand perfectly still whenever he is in the presence of others in hopes…