Buying your first home is one of the biggest decisions of your life. It’s important that you choose the home that’s right for the person…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local ghost Cece Quinn is reportedly unreachable unless specifically summoned with a name-brand Ouija board, and promises their contacts extra time if…
Okay, don’t tell your mom but our older sister rented Cruel Intentions from Blockbuster and she won’t be home until late because of soccer practice.…
ATLANTA — Local writer and amateur philosopher Alex Garfield is still questioning the meaning of life today after receiving an email last week that simply…
Oh, you’re an empath like me? Pshh. Prove it. These days, I hear the word “empath” getting thrown around a lot by people who quite…
LOS ANGELES — 35-year-old self-described “Dashboard Confessional superfan” David Calva awoke today to find his male-pattern baldness went into overdrive, leaving his hair everywhere. “The…
Oh my God, I am so sorry that I somehow missed that text! I mean, I didn’t miss it. I saw it within seconds of…
SAN DIEGO — Former Blink 182 guitarist Tom DeLonge reportedly spent the last six days brainstorming words that rhyme with “monolith” for a new song…
PLYMOUTH, Mass. — Matthew Kearns, a bartender at the Ye Olde Tap House located in the rear corner of a Market Basket supermarket, reportedly has…
NEW YORK — The former members of TLC confirmed a long-held suspicion today that their 1999 hit single “No Scrubs” was written about “Full House”…
I’m somewhat of an “old school” musician. Things have been working fine the way they are for years and I for one do not see…
HOUSTON — A punk house collapsed yesterday after the eviction of roommate Luis Flores, who it appears was a load-bearing, structurally integral element of the…
One of the most exciting parts of revisiting songs from your youth is seeing them through an older, wiser set of eyes. With all the…
PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Local inebriated man Kevin Donaghue drank a few sips of water before bed moments ago in an effort to dilute the many…
Hey bro, what’s goin’ on? I can’t believe we graduated high school fifteen years ago, seems like yesterday we were in Biology class. Do you…