Some people say a dog is a man’s best friend, but with a little maneuvering and a stolen prescription pad, a dog can also be…
DEER PARK, N.Y. — The owners of local rehearsal space Damned Studios released a number of safety protocols yesterday for COVID, but failed to address…
BROOKLYN — Local stoner metalhead Graham Wyatt overslept this morning after a night of drinking and weed smoking, which caused him to run a “‘Dopesmoker’…
LOS ANGELES — Actor and filmmaker Adam Sandler was forced to dispose of the screenplay for his new film “Hank Lieberman: Ghost Detective” after news…
There’s no better way to get to know a band than through their fanbase, especially when that band has blocked all your Twitter alts. That’s…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk Zoey Thomas is absolutely outraged today after stranger, Daniel Morgan, accepted her $1 in exchange for a single cigarette outside…
PRIDE ROCK — Dozens of hyenas still loyal to Scar attempted and ultimately failed to retake Pride Rock in a deadly coup following the defeat…
AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk announced earlier this week that he will name his next child in the style of a Sudoku, one of his…
Imagine being an expecting father only to be told you wouldn’t live long enough to see your first child come into the world. To many,…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Smith & Smith Real Estate property photographer Joshua Abernathy regularly receives workplace criticism for his unhelpful photos of rental units, but…
In the United States pornography is bigger that the music industry. At a collective 12 billion dollars per year and growing pornographers have more power…
CONCORD, N.H. — 32-year-old house sitter Ervin Holt discovered the benefits of a nightly face washing routine last week after helping himself to a wide…
Sure it’s empowering to act on emotion and rage against the machine, but as you get older, you’ll learn that an idealistic outlook is unsustainable…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Guitar Center manager Marcella Doyle was taken aback earlier this week when alternative rock band Everclear began signing autographs and selling…
GEORGETOWN, Del. — Local man Ben Hartsock resumed his normal business of yelling at skateboarders for trespassing in a parking lot less than 24 hours…