There’s no denying Biden has many challenges to overcome in order to heal our divided nation. He certainly has his work cut out for him.…
DALLAS — Local band Black Hole Generator finally admitted yesterday that their legendarily enigmatic bassist Eric Coughlin was actually just a cardboard cutout of cult…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Local neo-fascist Greg Pough retired as an active member of the Proud Boys today following a three-second embrace with his father that…
NEW YORK — Leading economists warned today that raising the minimum wage to $15 will severely impede the ability of elite Americans to be born…
They say as you grow older, you start to realize you and your folks really aren’t all that different. You hold tightly to certain beliefs…
HUNTINGTON, N.Y — Part-time barista and avid Marilyn Manson fan, Scuff Leeway underwent an invasive spine removal surgery in an effort to reach batshit arguments…
In November of 2020, science, love, and decency conquered all that stood in the way of justice, and America got on the right side of…
DENVER — Newly single man Chris Fangerburg held a moment of silence for his former relationship today, lowering the toilet seat in his recently rented…
Sometimes a political statement comes along that really forces one to rethink their whole world view. While it’s been centuries since Martin Luther nailed his…
CHICAGO — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan finally noticed yesterday that “minimum wage” rhymes with “rat in a cage,” according to horrified sources who have…
I’m not a religious person or anything, but in some ways I guess I’m just old fashioned. This may not be a popular opinion and…
BALTIMORE — Local Zoom show attendee Bryant Nelson sent fellow showgoer Sage Mykels unwanted messages in the chat of Wood Leg Work’s virtual show last…
BILOXI, Miss. — Local fast food chain CEO Shannon Smith reluctantly agreed to pay his employees $15 an hour last week, on the condition that…
WASHINGTON — Newly-inaugurated President Joe Biden is extremely concerned that “The Netflix” won’t know to send his rental DVDs to his new address at the…
Sick Phoebe Bridgers tat ya got there. Is that her whole face covering your entire torso? Cool, cool. You must be a real fan then,…