DORAL, Fla. — Professional swimwear model and University of Miami co-ed Sarah Nguyen has sadly found her countless attempts at friend-requesting new and interesting people…
There’s no denying that the institution of marriage has drastically changed over the last few decades. I would never get in the way of any…
CHAUNCEY, Ohio — 11-year-old Boy Scout Albie Tamari is reportedly just one cigarette away from earning the highly esteemed Nicotine Patch to add to his…
Whenever some hotshot music historian writes about the “big three” in punk rock, who do they always say? The Ramones, The Misfits, and a swastika…
IDAHO FALLS, Idaho — The three-month-old and, until now, extremely sexually charged relationship between Tom Paulsey and Dawn Sunland finally de-escalated last night into watching…
Hearing loss can be stressful and isolating. If there’s one person who knows all about that, it’s your close friend with genetic hearing loss who’s…
VANCOUVER — Famed musician and celebrity interviewer Nardwuar the Human Serviette has nearly finished his quest to dump his scratched, broken, warped, or otherwise unplayable…
With several COVID-19 vaccines dominating the conversation these days, you may be wondering which one is the safest option. But why inject a foreign concoction…
RACINE, Wisc. — Local woman Madison Kemper nearly reached her breaking point with Tinder last night after receiving yet another unsolicited fish pic, sources close…
Joe Rogan is my hero. He’s a real man’s man, and that’s what I aim to be. For the past year, I’ve taken his diet…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — The remaining members of the outspoken nü-metal band Trapt are seeking an ill-informed bigot with cursory drumming ability to replace their…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Conservative talking heads across the country mourned the loss of Rush Limbaugh by reducing how many times they mentioned false flag…
TAMPA, Fla. — Ronnie “The Neck” Garefino, the virtuoso guitarist for the speed metal band Fisting Frankenstein, is admittedly “totally clueless” when it comes to…
ARVADA, Colo. — Local guy Nathan Thorpe is having an “absolute fucking banner” year, thanks to his penchant for explaining the details of fast-paced current…
Hey Bro! Nice chin goatee. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business. We know that, as a puss-crushing smash machine,…