We’ve all been there. One minute you’re on your ’05 Yamaha Banshee, kicking up mud and slicing through air on the outskirts of town, and…
NEW YORK — Local bassist Mo Kalogeras was asked to stay home from performing at his band’s first show in over a year following an…
INDIANAPOLIS — Tempers flared earlier this week as members of recently broken-up metal band, Corpse Wax, quarreled over possession of a twenty-foot-tall animatronic goat demon…
MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Local law enforcement veteran Sergeant David Maddison drew praise from fellow officers for deftly concealing his identity to evade community criticism and…
Regardless of your relationship status, the past year of quarantine and lockdown has certainly put added stress on everyone’s love life. It took my partner…
JIM THORPE, Penn. — Craigslist user Hampton Bellamy sold a badly damaged and completely non-functional Kustom amplifier yesterday after listing it on the website “as…
NEW YORK ⏤ Recently debuted African American muppet Elijah Walker was fatally shot by Sesame Street police after officers mistakenly identified the number seven being…
VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — A recent study of your entire friend group came to the unimpeachable conclusion that Daniel Jordan, the biggest fuck up you…
Republicans fear a lot of things: Gender-neutral bathrooms, Dr. Seuss books they’ve never heard of getting discontinued, and us Democrats “coming for your guns.” Ooh,…
LONDON — Cartoon bassist for the virtual indie rock group Gorillaz, Murdoc Niccals, died of a cartoon heroin overdose Wednesday, a cartoon doctor wearing a…
WASHINGTON — Democratic members of the U.S. legislature announced today that, “Fuck it, we’re gonna lower the minimum wage,” following backlash from supporters frustrated by…
The big music publications are scared. No one clicks on articles anymore except for clickbait-y Top 100 lists. They would all go out of business…
SANDUSKY, Ohio — The Pop Punk Diocese of Ohio is facing a wave of criticism following the transfer of a frontman who faced multiple accusations…
CHICAGO — Local metalhead, avid corpse paint donner and frequent leather pants wearer Zachary Petrosyan is reportedly fed up with constantly being mistaken for a…
Every morning, I wake up and lay in bed, thinking about how my day is going to go while listening to the birds sing their…