We’ve all been there. You’re blasting Mötley Crüe’s greatest hits while cruising at 80 mph through a school zone when some nosy State trooper decides…
CHICAGO — Touring band The Cheap Seats were annoyed to find that the promised green room at their next venue was actually just a beige…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Doom metal veterans Flaccid Obelisk is selling coupons for a full vehicle inspection with a complimentary oil change as exclusive merch items…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — A small portion of a box of Crest White Strips is being tasked with undoing the damage that comes with eight years…
The Viper Club. “Slippery When Wet.” Drinking way too much shitty vodka in a pool. These are all potent symbols of the Sunset Strip, that…
SEATTLE — Local tambourine player Owen Albrecht of prog rock band BSMNT is hoping to follow in the footsteps of idols like Linda McCartney, Tracy…
Each Sunday, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we review the classic songs off of “Collection…
SEATTLE — A six-year-old purple otter pop was granted a new life purpose as a DIY ice pack after a record heat wave hitting the…
HEAVEN — Local divine and benevolent deity, God, updated His LinkedIn profile yesterday, changing His title to Content Creation Ninja in the first step to…
After years of careful research, it appears we are finally getting closer to identifying which member of Blink-182 wrote the song “Aliens Exist.” You know,…
CHICAGO — Local barista Jeffrey Stern had a creative breakthrough after thinking of the perfect name for a band that will never exist outside of…
WASHINGTON — A CDC annual report detailing the various causes of death in the United States noted that “being crushed by a falling piano,” while…
MIAMI — First time nude beach goer Simon Lowell made fellow nudists uncomfortable with his obvious anxiety surrounding what to do with his hands and…
Where are my manners? I mean, it’s not every day you get your own intervention with this many people. I didn’t think we would ever…
OMAHA, Neb. — The Britney Spears ‘90s classic “…Baby One More Time” being played between sets at a recent hardcore show easily garnered the strongest…