A lot of people have been talking about this vaccine lately, asking plenty of important questions. Does it defend against COVID-19? How effective is it…
BETHLEHEM, Pa. — Local punk Tyra Flores was spotted placing sheets of old newspaper over the corpse of her housemate Vince Russo following his untimely…
WASHINGTON — The United States of America picked up another twenty seasons of Forever War, according to a speech from President Biden last night. “Initially,…
I’ve been lucky enough to meet quite a few famous people, but I gotta tell ya: Armie Hammer is the nicest celebrity I’ve ever met!…
OAK LAWN, Ill. — Father of four and local businessman Theodore “Ted” Rosenberg considers his chili con carne recipe to be the ultimate legacy he…
So, you’ve taken note of what I’m wearing and assumed my entire personality and life experience based on my choice of clothing? That don’t impress…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Metalhead Tyler Cobb was the only patron to behave with respect and civility at airport bar Buster’s, while sporting a Cattle Decapitation…
Okay, I’m cool. Sure I’ve had 11 PBRs on an empty stomach, but there is no way I’m gonna be in the bathroom when Shit…
SECAUCUS, N.J. — The newly created Merch Guy Hall of Fame announced its inaugural class of inductees consisting entirely of pretty average looking dudes named…
Dads are lame. Even if your dad can occasionally impart a life lesson or bring you a case of toilet paper from Costco, dads can…
DRYDEN, N.Y. — An online trend known as the “milk crate challenge” left local punk Shelby Smalls with almost no furniture or storage options in…
It is well documented on Wikipedia that the Misfits are synonymous with horror movie subject matter and imagery, but not many realize they also wrote…
WASHINGTON — President Biden announced a rebranding of the “Middle East Peace Process” to “The War On War” in hopes of appeasing warmonger lawmakers on…
Hey, thanks for agreeing to meet with me in this shadowy parking garage. Okay, so before I can buy a ticket to your show, I…
MEDFORD, Mass. — The basement practice space at 234 Syrup Street is reportedly overrun by enough Aspergillus fumigatus to dampen sound, thanks to leaky water…