WASHINGTON — Republicans across the nation are reckoning with a party-wide fissure over whether pineapple is a suitable topping for bootlicking, sending think-tanks everywhere scrambling…
SEATTLE — City Council members announced plans today to use money diverted from the Seattle Police Department to fund a new highway initiative located in…
PORTLAND, Maine. — Local woman Dani Pineda has desperately hidden her humanity from her live-in boyfriend Aaron Adams by not shitting at all for the…
LONG BEACH, N.Y. — Veteran rocker Joan Jett is reportedly no longer in a committed, monogamous relationship with her longtime partner and genre Rock ‘N’…
AUSTIN, Texas — Gov. Greg Abbott signed a new, statewide law today that would mandate each Texan to do their part to stop the spread…
You wouldn’t be able to tell now because of my thick pecs but I used to look like a real dork. That’s because I was…
OSPREY, Fla. — The Sarasota Friends School was pleased to announce this week that in addition to maintaining its status as one of the county’s…
Television legend Mr. Rogers once said, “Look for the helpers.” In these times, we need these helpers more than ever. The helpers I look to…
SEATTLE — Amy’s Regret, the last known grunge band on the planet, were successfully captured in the wild last week and will be rehabilitated and…
Coward Hour is the least-informed podcast in America. Each week, leading cowards/disgraced comedians Brendan Krick & Nik Oldershaw spiral on mic, commit gaffes, and descend…
NEW YORK — Huge, anthropomorphic canary and “Sesame Street” cast member Big Bird was arrested late last night for loitering outside of the Love Puppet,…
PEMBROKE, Mass. — Local Dad and Lowe’s sales associate Brian Weckbacher was “giddy as a schoolboy” yesterday after conversing with police officer Ben Henry inside…
Arguably one of the most famous actors of the 20th century, Bugs Bunny developed a new sense of comedy, sarcasm, and stunt work in motion…