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We Need Cyberbullying, Otherwise Our Kids Won’t Know How To Defend Themselves in the Comments Section of the Real World

Now that many schools have gone virtual, we need to address cyberbullying. Specifically, how necessary it is. Sure, in the past cyberbullying may have gotten out of hand once or twice, but we’ve overcorrected way too far. With the absence of cyberbullying altogether, we’re at risk for a far greater evil. No, not cultural narcissism. That’s what physical bullying prevents.

I’m talking about our kids, the very future of our species, not being prepared to defend themselves in the comments section of the real world.

Good times make weak commenters. Weak commenters make bad times. Bad times make strong commenters. Strong commenters make good times. These are words humanity has lived and thrived by for millennia. Mostly this millennium. Heed them now.

If kids don’t experience cyberbullying in the classroom, where else will they develop the shitposting skills needed for survival when posting in the real world? r/opieandanthony? Ha! That was banned years ago.

Sure, in a perfect world no one will ever comment with a link to your old Myspace profile or point out a spelling error you made, but that’s not how comment sections in the real world work. If our kids aren’t attacked for sincereposting on their school message board, they will not be equipped to fight back when they’re attacked on their fantasy football work-league message board.

Adding cyberbully time into the current virtual learning curriculum would be incredibly easy. By simply allowing kids to log into the chat portal with an unlimited number of untraceable user names, our children will regain the formative experience of being harassed by budding young sociopaths emboldened by anonymity.

We need cyberbullying. Plain and simple. And dads, as much as we all want to act open and progressive towards our sons, how would you feel if your boy got insulted online and he responded by meekly putting his phone down and going outside to play football? A future without cyberbulling will be that dystopia.