PITTSBURGH — Local 38-year old man Justin Peterson spent the majority of the show that he is currently reminding himself that he is, in fact,…
LAS VEGAS — Poison singer Bret Michaels is reportedly still living on the bus where he unsuccessfully tried to find love more than a decade…
NEW YORK — Local woman Francisca Noguera asked her abusive partner of five months if he could extend his grooming habits to include his hygiene,…
Oh, you’re a King Crimson fan? Tell you what, 10 bucks says you can’t name exactly zero KC songs in the next 5 seconds. Okay…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. —Residents of local punk house The Rot Shop are engaged in a heated debate over the merits of the ragged multi-purpose ottoman that…
Every year, thousands of people visit the “happiest place on earth” to experience the magic of Disney. There’s almost too much to do and see…
BALTIMORE — Plucky, determined teens of the O’Donnell Street Recreation Center were disheartened to learn that defeating a local real estate developer’s son in a…
CENTER VALLEY, Pa. — A man traveling through time with the intention of preventing childhood trauma made a more pressing stop in the year 2010…
In the grand tradition of using social media to help solve real world problems, when we heard our friend’s cat had gone missing we posted…
BEIJING — Norway added another gold medal in the 2022 Winter Olympic Games when their team of Black Metal musicians dominated the Standing Around in…
Hey. Hi! Yep, you’re reading the sticker over my left nipple correctly. It says “BLOOD DONOR HERO”. I made it myself. I’m not usually one…
RAAHIL’S BODY — The fast-growing cystic acne chain on your friend Raahil’s face is launching franchise opportunities, with new pimples emerging on his upper back…
Everyone says that Instagram is only a cesspool of shallow individuals looking for cheap validation or a way to profit from their followers. Try telling…
CALEXICO, Calif. — Local punk venue The Microwave announced new restrictions for patrons and will require anyone wanting to attend a show to present proof…
Throughout history, certain groups are overlooked. Regardless of an individual’s accomplishments, no matter how massive or prevalent throughout culture and art, some pioneers are ignored…