After decades in television and cinema, if there’s one thing people remember about Tim Allen it’s the name he made for himself as an icon.…
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Local dad and lifelong jock Patrick Bruckheimer is forcing his home-schooled teenage son to take showers upstairs with the rest of the…
Richard Gere is known to be one of the silver foxes of Hollywood. With a full head of peppered grey hair, a chin that would…
UNITED STATES — Straight guy musicians from around the country who usually can’t shut the fuck up about how much they love Asian women suddenly…
Bruce Springsteen is the greatest musician of all time and I refuse to entertain the notion that there is anyone who comes close to His…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local man James Bo finally fulfilled his lifelong dream of growing out his hair last month, only to discover it happened to…
I hated my body for years. No matter how much I worked out or how many compliments I guilted my friends into giving me, I…
NORCROSS, Ga. — Local man Craig Barnett, who quit smoking in 1995, discovered a box yesterday filled with Camel cigarettes’s now-obsolete Camel Cash, prompting him…
A person always has a razor-blade, piss, and a cigarette readily available, and whether you’re in the alley behind a bar or lost looking for…
NEW YORK — Self-described “cinema aficionado” Kevin Clifford has spent the past several months becoming fluent in Japanese in order to “watch” Kurosawa movies while…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local 20-somethings Ashton Knoll and Kevin Stohl were approved yesterday for a second mortgage on their fiddle leaf fig tree, which the…
Here at The Hard Times, we get a lot of questions from our readers asking for advice. While we’re happy to oblige, there are some…
Listen, I’m not usually one to get snobby about alcohol but after years of refining my palette in the finest bus stations and public restrooms…