HARRISBURG, Penn. — Local human disaster Jason Melvin recently managed to pull a complete 180 in every aspect of his previously pointless existence with the…
“Good Apollo I’m Burning With Secrets of Silent Earth 3 Volume IV: Section B (The Diaxis Continent) Addendum” What the fuck does any of this…
Book banning has always raised my hackles. Ayn Rand is a literary genius so when some hippie mom whose kid went to the same school…
BOSTON – Local business owner Shawn O’Connell was surprised to discover that a majority of the personal references provided by a recent job applicant turned…
Between the pandemic, rising fuel prices and some real fucking bad luck at the dog track, more and more Americans are taking on side hustles…
As a prominent member of the Republican party who receives a sizable check from the NRA biweekly just for doing their bidding without question, I’m…
GLENSIDE, Pa. — Pennsylvania senate candidate John Fetterman vows to support universal healthcare for scene veterans, old heads, and all the real motherfuckers in the…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — New Jersey-based punk, and massive acid enthusiast, Lionel “Tabby” Winnet is reportedly “confused but going with it” upon finding himself at bat…
SEATTLE — Thirty-seven-year-old father Peter Goodman recently sat down with his son, Jamiroquai, to explain the intimate mechanics of sexual maturity, which by Goodman’s description…
LOS ANGELES — The completion of the fourth season of “Stranger Things” left Americans yearning for a simpler time when the nation was led by…
I went into my therapy session this week grinning ear to ear. I felt more connected to my therapist than ever and I knew we…
WASHINGTON — Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell reportedly spent the week in a luxurious DC hotel while the coffin he sleeps in was re-lined, creeped-out…
Let’s face it, we have a problem here in America, and it’s spiraling out of control. We see it on the news every day, a…
PHOENIX, AZ – Local bassist Winston Crowe of punk band Sloppyfoot hit the gym to begin a new head nod training regimen which he hopes…
This band used to really rock. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t even think they’re all that bad now. It’s just that their old stuff…