BILLINGS, Mont. — Former music obsessive Paul Yarborough finally achieved bodily immunity to the intoxicating effects of new music following years of detachment and apathy,…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local punk household, “The Underground Failroad,” is grieving for their microwave, which is considered “no longer functional” after the +30 button gave…
Is your sister pissing you off? Are you in charge of her toddler for the next six hours while she gets sloppy wasted at girl’s…
It’s no secret that our Lord works in mysterious ways. He allows bad things to happen to good people, he buries dinosaur fossils to test…
WORCESTER, Mass. – Local shoegaze band Snooze Pedal thrilled audience members by using half a string of Dollar General Christmas lights to illuminate the stage…
Listen, we’ve all been in this situation before. You take a little break in your day and decide to sneak a peek at your phone.…
It’s getting entirely too hot to be outside and you know what that means: It’s Renaissance Faire season! Baking in a parking lot all day…
EUGENE, Ore. — A local man bun was discovered to be full of gross raisins, sources who had already made it home with the bun…
DETROIT — Frustrated wife Hannah Gerhardt figured out how to install a breathalyzer on her husband’s acoustic guitar which would keep the hardshell case locked…
MOBILE, Ala. — Local family The Jensens are in disbelief after the dog they adopted used his talking buttons to tell a version of “The…
If you’re anything like me, by which I mean anyone between the ages of 10 and 45 in 1995, then HBO’s docu-series Real Sex had…
Ever since Q provided all free-thinking patriots with irrefutable proof that our country is controlled by a shadow governing cabal of baby eating devil worshipers…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — A raggedy mop caused confusion among several attendees of the “Days of the Dead” horror convention when they confused the cleaning instrument…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla — City workers were observed adorning a busy four-lane highway with white stencils of bicycles early Tuesday morning in efforts to make the…
HAWKINS, Ind. — Local high school senior Jenny Dowd, currently trapped in the parallel universe of the Upside Down, opted to accept imminent death at…