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How To Enjoy Making Pizza at Home Even Though It’ll Never Be as Good as the One on the Tigers Jaw Self-titled Album

So you bought all of the gadgets. You got your pizza stone, rolling pin, and pizza cutter. You even talked your significant other into letting you dip into your shared savings for one of those gas-powered pizza ovens. You couldn’t wait to have your friends over for a slice, and for one of them to ask where you ordered from. You played that fantastical moment over and over again in your head.

But then, while you were walking to the store to buy the good flour for the dough, “Never Saw It Coming” off of Tigers Jaw’s highly acclaimed self-titled album shuffled on your Spotify. Normally you’d be thrilled to hear an old favorite, but something’s different this time. You think about the album art: an extra large, piping hot cheese pie, perfectly crafted and cut. Then you realize you’ve just been reminded of the gold standard of pizza. You know you can’t come close to competing with the master craftsman that made this absolute work of art. You start to think that maybe you should just walk home and order takeout.

Let’s get one thing straight. Your pizza is never going to be as good as that one. I mean, just look at that fucking thing. Thin, crisp crust, large foldable slices, and the perfect sauce-to-cheese ratio. Speaking of cheese, just look at the way it’s dripping off that slice. God, I bet you’d give anything to make a pizza one-tenth as perfect as that one.

Well, that’s never going to happen. And that’s ok. Don’t let inevitable disappointment stop you from doing yet another thing.

You can still enjoy making pizza at home. All you have to do is accept that you will never live up to the expectations set by a post-punk album from 2008. Make the pizza the same way you always would. Also, instead of the Self-Titled, try putting on “Spin” instead. It’s hard to be in a bad mood and dwell on your own failures while June is on. When you take the pizza out of the oven, take the time to admire your work. It’s not perfect. It may not even be good. But it’s yours. And that means something.