Marijuana use is on the rise, and while it’s completely harmless and fun for you to consume, to a child with a still developing mind,…
EUGENE, Ore. — Rory Spears, the last remaining user of the file-sharing platform Limewire, was shocked to enter his apartment and find Metallica drummer and…
Do you remember that god-awful movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button?” It starred Brad Pitt as an old baby who lives backwards and fucks…
If you’ve got a job that you go to at least five days a week and have a different pair of pants for each day,…
CHICAGO – Local law enforcement officials reported fielding multiple noise complaints regarding punk music venue The Brine Factory from occupants of the newly opened high-end…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Disney-obsessed middle-aged man Sebastian Werner is to be tried as a minor after allegedly assaulting several guests at the happiest place on…
Wow! Just because Die Hard is a fictional movie doesn’t mean there isn’t a real-life John McClane out there. Check out Ted McGannon, a Denver…
SOMERSET, Mass. — Local cool boss Kirk Rayner chose a Cameo video from Creed singer Scott Stapp to inform his employees there will be no…
BEACON, N.Y. — Local hardcore band Agony Undone are still hoping that after six years of relentless touring this will finally be the time they…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local 22-year-old religious conservative Blake Howard revealed to a group of friends that he believed life began at “butt stuff,” sources who…
SOUTH HADLEY, Mass. — Freebird Rock n’ Roll Camp counselor Shea Dowd was thrilled to gather his campers around the fire to tell a rock…
Life has not gone as planned. When we were in high school we were certain we’d be a famous musician by now, about to settle…
Back in the day, we had true entertainers. Our musicians didn’t just hit computer buttons. They played real instruments like guitar and learned all four…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Beleaguered local drummer Sadie Plemmons assigned all future ride cymbal playing to a recently-hired sous-drummer in order to help with her percussion…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local 39-year-old Jillian Rhodes was startled this afternoon after learning that her friend from high school Jordan Hansley is now old, Rhodes’…