LANCASTER, Penn. — Local punk Jason Harris was disappointed that he is unable to bond with his father over their shared hatred of Joe Biden…
WASHINGTON — Abaddon the Destroyer, an immortal demon from the deepest depths of hell, begged an exorcist to free him from the body of the…
LOS ANGELES — Lizzo is facing backlash across social media after announcing she would be releasing a limited-edition split 7″ with powerviolence pioneers, and kung…
NEW YORK — New York hardcore scene veteran Lance Bianchi continues to assert that the quality of drinking water is one of the key elements…
GRAND FORKS, N.D. — Marjorie and Gerald Spitz attempted to lure their wayward crust punk son home using his two favorite things as bait —…
CINCINNATI — Local punk band Goattica has steadfastly resisted selling out over the years by never improving as musicians or developing any semblance of a…
MINNEAPOLIS — Popular DIY venue The Dank Vault has reportedly been raided by local police after revelations that the small establishment was at the heart…
OLIN, N.Y. — Local show promoter Ace Tucker dampened the mood of a recent show billed as “Brutal Basement Hardcore” when he kindly asked guests…
BAYONNE, N.J. — Residents of local punk house The Dry Socket made the cost-cutting decision to switch to Kirkland Signature for household whippets after reevaluating…
ELLENSBURG, Wash. — Members of local skiffle-punk revival band Rat Boy and The Cheese Police agreed to practice a song written by the group’s drummer,…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Andrew Fetzer attempted to deceive friends by crudely marking his hands with a sharpie to hide that he’s been relaxing at…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. – Local goth Sarah Lashley is rejecting modern bedding options and instead chooses to sleep in a casket resting on the floor, confirmed…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local man Rick Anderson remains ignorant to the fact that the generous beer donations he makes to his neighbors’ basement shows…
SHEBOYGAN, Wisc. — Local punk band Disquantify announced today they will embark on an extensive world tour, with the first 36 stops right here in…
BALTIMORE, Md. — Local showgoers were shocked and dismayed after witnessing punk band, The Baby Hitlers, vanish completely during their performance moments ago, according to…