In Green Day’s song “Longview,” singer Billy Joe Armstrong makes reference to masturbating until it loses its fun. We decided to try this out and, honestly, we are perplexed as to what this dude is talking about.
The instant we started pulling our pork it felt pretty damn good. Now we considered that maybe he meant after a few times the sensation goes away. But guess what? It never did! The sheer thrill of each orgasm just excited us enough to look forward to the next time we could stop being flaccid.
According to the band, a ‘Green Day’ is a day where you stay at home doing nothing but smoking weed. Well then call this a ‘Peen Day’ because masturbating never got boring. Maybe he meant if you started chafing then it wouldn’t be fun. Well, we went through enough Astroglide though to cover several large seals so it wasn’t a problem for us.
It is also suggested during the song that laziness comes into play regarding masturbation losing its fun. I guess that means we’re a much more motivated masturbator who doesn’t give up after a few measly warm-up tugs.
We suppose that if the prospect of having actual sex were to come up, that might deter us from masturbating. Why have imitation when you can have the real thing? Good luck though trying to attract a partner when you’re constantly masturbating to prove some point you’ve already forgotten. So for now it looks like we’re going to keep masturbating until the Internet runs out of new pornography to offer.