LOS ANGELES — The dilapidated building that provided the backdrop for every promo photo from every hardcore band ever will be demolished and replaced with…
ALLSTON, Mass. — Residents of a basement apartment on Gardner Street are counting on a single, $5 tub of spackle to repair multiple doors, walls,…
Honestly, I’m not really a lovey-dovey kind of guy, but Cat Stevens looks so gosh darn adorable curled up on my lap that I just…
RENO, Nev. — Touring hardcore outfit Hammer Envy received a single, damp towel last night to share amongst the four of them while staying at…
ATLANTA — Delta Airlines flight attendant Moses Ray dedicated yesterday’s routine flight to Chicago to “the real mother fuckers in coach” during an impassioned pre-flight…
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — 33-year-old pop-punk frontman Danny Huerta has reportedly been cast out of the scene he helped build after he was outed late…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Butthole Canyon frontman Richie Butthole increasingly regrets his chosen stage name, now that he is approaching his mid-30s, sources close to the…
Jeff Rosenstock has been releasing free music under his name, Bomb the Music Industry!, Antarctigo Vespucci, and many more for more than a decade. For…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local metalhead Terry Parker found yesterday that he is almost out of body parts into which to carve the word “Slayer” as…
ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. -— Touring Minneapolis band FLATPOINT spent much of their set last night informing their Long Island audience that the 30°F weather was,…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Crust-punk presidential candidate Leo “Swamp” Marsh revealed plans today to slash employment opportunities during an impassioned campaign speech held in vacant hotel…
Please: if anyone reading this is a member of the Greenville punk rock music community, I hereby request that you kindly remove my small family…
Listen here, poser. You think you know this band? Really? What, you started listening to them six weeks ago? And now you’re happy to be…
CHICAGO — Impish, iconoclastic musician Björk utterly vanished in plain sight last night after allegedly being tricked into uttering “kröjb” aloud during her concert, several…
MARRAKESH, Morocco — An archaeological discovery made outside of Marrakesh yesterday places the extinction of punk rock at roughly 8,000 B.C.E., stunned researchers confirmed. The…