PHOENIX — The lead guitar tech at Kerry King Guitar Clinic attempted an experimental procedure last night to separate local musician Kurt Carstens’ conjoined guitars,…
LOS ANGELES — NOFX frontman “Fat” Mike Burkett held a press conference yesterday to apologize for a series of insensitive comments he wished he could…
TUKWILA, Wash. — Tukwila musicians of all genres are mourning today after the town’s only competent drummer, Jeffrey Joyce, announced last night his intention to…
TUCSON, Ariz. — A local show’s merch line was held up last night for more than 11 minutes when aging punk rocker John “The Don”…
LOS ANGELES — Local goth Jenny Carlisle successfully subverted cosmetic trends earlier this week by having her asshole professionally darkened at a nearby salon, unenthused…
NEW YORK — The 42nd Street/Times Square subway station was tight on space early yesterday evening after Rush drummer Neil Peart set up over 20…
CLEVELAND — Showgoer Timothy Boyce has become trapped in a mosh pit after his panicked flailing and aggressive shouting were mistaken as genuine moshing, witnesses…
So I bought this house this month from some guy named Max Ramos and PayPal’d him through “Friends and Family” so I didn’t have to…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — 33-year-old house painter and disillusioned ska enthusiast Brady Taylor took a Sharpie to the white boxes on his checkered Vans Slip-Ons…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local mother and hi-fi aficionado Peggy Lowell had a multitude of criticisms regarding her son’s tone following a family spat on Sunday…
PHILADELPHIA — 9-year-old guitarist Tommy Moran is already rising as a “punk musician to watch,” thanks to his seemingly preternatural ability to completely suck at…
NEW HOPE, Pa. — Die-hard fans of alt-rock band Ween can now purchase tickets directly through their court-ordered ankle bracelets, thanks to a new service…
International Essay Prize Awarded to YouTube Comment Explaining Why Deafheaven Isn’t Black Metal
MONTREAL — The internationally-recognized Rodgers-Mayhew Essay Award was given yesterday to SoundMatters99, a Youtube commenter who succinctly dissected the genre minutia of popular indie-metal band…