CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local punk Matthew Verne reportedly suffered an immense financial loss after his mother repurposed over $26,000 worth of old band shirts into…
SAINT PAUL, Minn. — 37-year-old punk Ronald “Buckets” Drearer grossly exaggerated how much alcohol he regularly consumes in order to seem cooler during a recent…
VENTURA, Calif. — Social Distortion fans were treated to an extra special encore from frontman Mike Ness who used the extra 15 minutes of stage…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — Local punk house cat The Little Guy is reportedly furious at the return of house shows to the area and the loud,…
BLAINE, Wash. — Local band with at least one felony, Green Stream, will not be playing their scheduled Vancouver and Calgary shows of a current…
ENCINO, Cali. — West coast hip hop artist Travis MacKinnon, known in the music world as Beezy P, admitted that the only form of communication…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…
SAN FRANCISCO — A large drum circle in Golden Gate Park was ruined by each and every percussionist’s inability to keep a beat, understand rhythm,…
MILWAUKEE — Shockwaves were sent through all of music fandom when the world realized Canadian folk punk band Violent Femmes are in fact not Canadian…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local aging punk Adrian Cox, once known for outlandish behavior like snacking on shattered light bulbs, refused an hors d’oeuvre at a…
DETROIT — Local short person Elizabeth Kramer spent $90 on floor tickets for an upcoming concert after forgetting that she’s only 5’2”, sources who have…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local venue Breezy Steve’s Beer Barn now requires attendees to show proof of showering before they enter the venue, according to sources…
CLEVELAND — A group of disgruntled, shoeless punks met each other’s empty gazes in a foyer as they attempted to find their own black leather…
So I guess we’re not knocking anymore? Alright, so you caught me whacking it. You can stop freaking out. Let’s talk about this like adults.…
NEWARK, N.J. — Former Carport frontman Mikey Cooper, 42, is reportedly using his decades of experience exploring overdramatic themes to excel in his new role…