PORT CHESTER, N.Y. — Doom metal band Satan’s Bong asked organizers of the Black Grief Festival if the band had time to perform one more…
ATLANTA — Bassist Adam Frost has joined local metal outfit Niceguy Genocide in a lucrative, two-year deal worth an estimated $100, Frost’s management team confirmed…
MARIETTA, Ga. — Car owner Charlie Simmons admitted today that he swapped out his copy of Belle & Sebastian’s album Dear Catastrophe Waitress for Pantera’s…
PORTSMOUTH, Va. — 24-year-old metalhead Jim Rainer expertly passed himself off as a middle-aged dock worker yesterday, without any additional effort, for a free ride…

Opinion: LOOK AT THAT LOSER WEARING EARPLUGS. I GO TO WAY MORE SHOWS AND MY HEARING IS FINE! …WHAT!?
OH MAN, LOOK AT THAT FUCKING GUY. HOW CAN YOU HEAR ANYTHING WITH THOSE THINGS IN? PEOPLE LIKE HIM ARE EXACTLY WHAT’S WRONG WITH PUNK…
Opinion: We Should Just Release These Rough Mixes
My band just finished our first recording session! We saved for months to book time at a professional studio with an experienced engineer- a real…
Industrial Band Outsourced
NEW YORK — Veteran east coast industrial band Spacechase learned yesterday that their musical duties have been outsourced to cheaper, foreign musicians, rendering their services…
Opinion: That Take Will Sound Great Muted and Underneath My Version
Wow! What a great second guitar part. ‘GTR 2B’ will perfectly complement the rest of the mix on this song, especially once I mute it…
Opinion: James Hetfield Is a Total Pretentious Asshole Who Sues Anyone Who Breaks Into His House
Never meet your heroes. Everyone seems to have a story about an awful encounter with a celebrity, but I have always given a person of…
Opinion: It Doesn’t Make Much Sense for Us to Play First
Hey guys! Good to meet all of you before the show. Let me just start by saying I think your bands are the best in…
Opinion: Just Because I’m Not Going to Your Show Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Want an Invite
I woke up today and saw pictures from last night of your shitty band playing at a shitty venue in front of a small, shitty…
Opinion: I Should Have Left My Coat in the Car
I don’t always think things through. When I made the decision to attend this show at a tiny, overcrowded venue with no ventilation I thought…
Beautiful: Despite Being Born Without People Skills, This Drummer Managed to Give Away Every Guest List Spot
Incredible! In a remarkable display of courage and strength, Chantrick Tudley, the drummer of local pop punk band “Tonites’ The Nite” overcame all odds and,…
Marilyn Manson Denies Playing Bass in The Wonder Years
LOS ANGELES — Shock rocker Marilyn Manson finally addressed years of rumors in a press conference this morning, denying any involvement with Pennsylvania pop-punk veterans…
Opinion: Just Plug the Mic Into the Bass Amp
Fuck, every input on Dan’s PA is broken? Check the third one. The third one always works. No, you have to use a little bit…