CHICAGO — Local metalhead, avid corpse paint donner and frequent leather pants wearer Zachary Petrosyan is reportedly fed up with constantly being mistaken for a…
FARMINGTON, N.M. — Local man Derek Romero received the disappointment of a lifetime after the metal band he had devoted nearly two minutes of his…
CHICAGO — Local bassist Tim Bolz announced this morning that he has “still got it” after remembering how to play a wildly incorrect version of…
LANCASTER, Pa. — Hundreds of metalcore bands were seen scurrying off in different directions in a local factory late yesterday evening after night watchman Bill…
LOS ANGELES — Nine Inch Nails’ frontman Trent Reznor is reportedly preparing an upcoming national tour with bandmates staffed exclusively with “random dudes” he found…
INDIANAPOLIS — Members of sludge band RESINator expressed a desire to play faster, heavier death metal, but admitted that they are just exhausted all day,…
BUENA PARK, Calif. — Popular instrument manufacturer Yamaha announced a partnership yesterday with flagship nü-metal band Korn to produce a signature model 89-key piano, excited…
TUCSON, Ariz. — A local sound guy’s ponytail bragged yesterday that it used to tour with the legendary metal band Black Sabbath during a recording…
ERIE, Pa. — Self-proclaimed grindcore aficionado Eduard Riva has vanished from the internet in recent months, as Facebook’s content flagging protocols continue to catch and…
DALLAS — Laid off mall security guard and avid Pantera fan Jamie Gunderson has essentially torn his apartment down to the studs with his fists…
PHOENIX — Stead Ned, the guitarist for the Ned Flanders-inspired heavy metal band Okilly Dokilly, is worried about his missing gear after loaning his guitar…
TRØNDELAG COUNTY, Norway — News of departed Pantera guitarist “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott’s 2004 death just reached the isolated Kjårn tribe deep in the cold and…
AGOURA HILLS, Calif. — Local nü-metal band Hog Washer can’t decide which of the countless butthole puns they thought of over the last six months…
The world is changing and the local music scene is no different. People are bringing politics into everything, every band has opinions they’re cramming down…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local Pantera fan Blane Butts referred to another customer at Ingles Supermarket as an “intellectual” yesterday in an apparent attempt to insult…