Press "Enter" to skip to content

Every Member of Band More Invested in a Solo Project

CHICAGO — Every member of local indie rock band The Soviet Reunion is far more artistically, financially and personally invested in their respective solo projects than their “main gig,” sources close to the band confirmed.

“I love these guys,” said Barry Morgan, The Soviet Reunion’s longtime merch guy, from the lobby of the band’s practice space. “Every member of this band really brings something special, which is what makes them all convinced that their own thing is going to take off. Joey [Matheson, vocals] has a chillwave thing she does as ‘Middle-Aged Teen,’ Santiago [Cruz, drummer] raps as Caribbean Cruz, Lee [Edwards, keyboards] thinks he’s going to ‘revitalize jazz’ with these weird recordings of Jelly Roll Morton songs he does on children’s instruments. They all sound like complete shit, but I can’t tell them that because the money I make from touring with them is how I keep my black metal project afloat.”

Arthur Novak, a dedicated fan of The Soviet Reunion, admitted he’s getting frustrated with the group.

“It’s exhausting trying to keep track of everything they’re doing,” said Novak. “I have multiple spreadsheets and computer programs that keep me up to date on every new project they start. One of them will eventually be good and I don’t want to miss out, but right now the band looks like they are coming apart at the seams. Last week, I saw Joey and Santiago almost get in a fight on Instagram Live because they were both trying to do their spoken word stuff on the band’s main page at the same exact time.”

Dr. Martha Carter, a behavioural therapist, explained this as a very common phenomenon.

“This is a textbook case of toxic band dynamics,” said Dr. Carter. “In the vast majority of promising musical acts, every member of a band thinks they’re the true creative heart, and that the others are dragging them down. They latch onto a fantasy that once they manage to go solo, that’s when they’ll take off and create the ‘great work’ they have inside them. Sadly, that has only ever been true of Paul McCartney and Wings.”

As of press time, each member of The Soviet Reunion was trying to sneak burned CDs of their respective projects into the band’s online store.