CUPERTINO, Calif. — Facebook services suffered the longest outage in over a year, leading directly to a massive wave of Americans finally getting vaccinated for…
PHILADELPHIA — Office hero Tom Rafferty was kind enough to unmute his microphone during the company’s team meeting so he could be heard laughing at…
PHILADELPHIA — Determined woman and job applicant Patricia O’Malley is creatively pursuing work that she’s technically overqualified to do by acting like a man who’s…
CHICAGO — Local recovering alcoholic Patrick Tolleridge is now expressing deep remorse for his past jukebox selections since getting sober, according to sources. “When I…
SAN FRANCISCO — Big-city punk Oliver Lewis recently got the name of his hometown, “Kingston,” tattooed across his stomach despite not visiting the Massachusetts town…
CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local punk Matthew Verne reportedly suffered an immense financial loss after his mother repurposed over $26,000 worth of old band shirts into…
WASHINGTON — Congress signed a last-minute funding measure to narrowly avoid a government shutdown today after a crowd gathered on Capitol Hill began chanting “one…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — Local punk house cat The Little Guy is reportedly furious at the return of house shows to the area and the loud,…
BOISE, Idaho — A man suffering from COVID-19 after refusing a vaccination drew ire from other patients by spreading his legs across two ICU beds,…
NEW YORK — Marketing associate and long-time New Yorker Carly Tseng reportedly wasted National Coffee Day by purchasing coffee at Starbucks. “This time of year,…
DENVER — Local man Liam Cooper announced that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich his girlfriend charitably made for him was “worse than eating dog…