ATLANTA — Local sub Darren Payne was rebuffed by his partner, Anthony Clark, in his request to be bound, gagged, and forced to walk around…
NORFOLK, Va. — Local man and self-proclaimed “Roganite,” Connor Patterson, admits to being open to a variety of expert opinions and science facts, as long…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Touring band Dwight Zombie made a last-minute stop in Memphis early yesterday afternoon for the sole purpose of relieving their bowels before…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple’s newest iPhone operating system, iOS 16, includes a predictive text feature that allegedly recognizes when the user is being invited to…
NEWCASTLE, Wyo. — Local punk and Jehovah’s Witness Mike “Pitstain” Dawson took it upon himself to counterbalance the Jehovah’s Witness’ message by going door to…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Chris Jones was left reeling after realizing that he had no clue as to what his best friend of 25…
MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Countless sources from around the world are reportedly still unsure why anything is going back to happening in person and why anyone…
NEW YORK — Members of Racked Brain returned from a weekend “tour” and immediately began telling their friends tales of a “packed and absolutely bonkers”…
CHANDLER, Ariz. — A local mom was seen screaming her regrets and frustrations into a decorative throw pillow that read, “Family is Forever,” reported a…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A show in the basement of local punk house Arsonist Hall started exactly on time today, thanks to a Daylight Saving Time…
BELOIT, Wisc. — Local woman Angie Tufts expressed that she feels “all out of wack” because of a recent Daylight Saving Time change, despite having…
CHICAGO — Piss-drunk indie pop band Belle & Sebastian spent a raucous evening tidying their hotel room at the Radisson Blu Aqua while on a…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local doctor Elvin Grant advised a hardscrabble down-on-his-luck police detective to exclusively take their medication aggressively and by the fistful in the…
SEATTLE — Local man James Tebuto is losing confidence in himself halfway through what he’s realizing is an overwhelming order at Taco Bell, according to…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A vintage Pac-Man arcade cabinet belonging to area laundromat Sudsy’s Soak ‘n Scrub is reportedly the establishment’s most technologically advanced piece…