There is no right or wrong time to say “I love you” in a relationship. That’s probably why my dad is waiting for the perfect…
Hey, pothead! That’s right you lazy stoner. So you failed to launch? Big fucking deal. You’re back with your folks and spending all your time…
As an elder millennial, I experience a lot of pressure to assume more responsibility than I may necessarily be ready for. Unfortunately, buying a house…
Somebody help! I just listened to every Pavement album in a row, and now even the simplest conversation is like taking a giant ramrod to…
Once again, Disney has taken tragedy and turned it into something we can upvote on Reddit. When superfan Brian McKenzie learned there was going to…
Being a musician isn’t as glamorous as Hollywood will have you believe. It’s not all overnight success and invulnerability to lethal amounts of cocaine. You…
The place: Los Angeles. The year: 2029. Humanity has all but failed to stop Skynet and its legion of Terminators from laying waste to the…
Selling out is a move as old as music itself. Most rock stars who decide to cash in on their fleeting fame by sacrificing total…
Of all the ills plaguing Americans today, from historic drought and skyrocketing homelessness to the ongoing and totally uncontested presence of concentration camps at the…
Let’s face it. Complaining online about new Weezer material is just part of the human experience. It usually occurs between early and middle adulthood, according…
Well, this was one hell of a barbecue friend, but if you don’t mind helping me find my keys, I’ve got a babysitting gig to…
Alright, now. Listen to me. You all know me, or at least, you know my reputation. You know how I make my living. This man…
We Look Back at All of Our Past Failures Because We Just Spilled a Full Beer Goddammit What the Fuck
We Look Back at All of Our Past Failures Because We Just Spilled a Full Beer Goddammit What the Fuck
It’s been a good thirty-odd years of screw-ups, so now seems like as good a time as any to review them in inscrutable detail because…
Alright, now I’m starting to get skeptical. I went in here to take a piss during this Battle of the Bands and, while the facilities…
Studies show pets often take on the characteristics and habits of their owners. Okay, well if that’s true, then my cat Fruit Punch should appreciate…