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Class Warfare? This Coffee Shop Doesn’t List Prices

The gap between rich and poor widens each year. Jeff Bezos takes his billions to space while Elon Musk trolls global economics with meme tweets. Yet the most glaring example of the growing dissent between the classes exists in a small coffee shop in San Diego where I happen to be standing, holding up the line, because these fascists don’t list their prices.

To my comrades in this North Park neighborhood coffee shop, listen up! Skydrop Coffee is waging class warfare and we must end it NOW. These wannabe oligarchs are hoarding all of the economic information. This is basically insider trading.

I walked in and the only discernible menu was a black felt board with white letters vaguely listing their offerings including latte, cortado, matcha, and more. You know what they didn’t offer? Prices. Capitalist swine.

This puts customers like me in the awkward position of either having to ask the cashier how much things cost (out of the question) or risk overdrawing my bank account when I accidentally order some $13 single-origin pourover, when all I wanted was a simple $9 single-origin pourover. I panicked, acted like I walked into the wrong place, abruptly turned, and left like a total dipshit. Fuck these one-percenters.

To make matters worse, Skydrop Coffee has signature drinks on their terse menu, such as the “FINNY” and the “HOKKAIDO,” with no explanation as to what the items actually are. Sizes are also omitted from their menu and website. Fuck the JFK assassination, we need to de-classify this coffee shop.

Oh shit, they also have beer. No prices on those either though. Eh, I’ll just open a tab.