WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance lashed out at working-class Americans today criticizing their inability to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and find an…
Tax Day is upon us, and while it has never been popular (unless you’re getting money back, you lucky bastards) this year it is especially…
BOSTON — Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology determined that billionaire and father of 13 Elon Musk is statistically three to four children away…
BOCA CHICA, Texas — Social pariah and world’s richest man Elon Musk made a staggering donation to a new startup with a mission statement of…
SAN FRANCISCO — The author of an upcoming biography of Elon Musk found evidence suggesting his obsession with the letter X is due to it…
NEW YORK — Local punks using the bathroom of a supposed dive bar felt betrayed when they realized they could see themselves perfectly in the…
Billionaires; they are our superiors and our betters. Their lives are literally worth more than our lives, and they make decisions that affect our day…
SEATTLE — Amazon Prime Air UAV Drone #434001 was written up by its supervisor for taking a three minute refueling break during hours that it…
It has long been rumored that microdosing is the secret behind the success of billionaires like Steve Jobs, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos. After Bezos…
HOUSTON — Scientists at NASA monitoring the Perseverance Rover made a startling discovery today when it sent back photos of GWAR rehearsing on Mars, multiple…
The gap between rich and poor widens each year. Jeff Bezos takes his billions to space while Elon Musk trolls global economics with meme tweets.…
There are approximately 135 screen versions of Charles Dickens’ apocryphal tale of ego reversal “A Christmas Carol” from Scrooge McDuck, to Tim Curry, to George…
DANVILLE, Calif. — Local man Owen Nelson was completely convinced last night that the entire world is run by an elite cabal of billionaire financiers…
SEATTLE — Off-the-grid punk communities across the U.S. are celebrating news of their hero, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, “sticking it to the man” once again…
WESTERVILLE, Ohio — Senator Bernie Sanders played a cheap Squier Affinity P-Bass on stage during tonight’s debate for the 2020 Democratic primary election, a move…