MILWAUKEE — Local third-grade teacher Grace Redding recently stated she “would not trade her job for the world” despite the constant toll it takes on…
DURANGO, Colo. – Employees at a local insurance office were granted permission to arrive to work baked out of their goddamn gourds and reeking of…
POMONA, Calif. – Liz Gore, lead vocalist of local death metal band Afterbirth, reportedly slipped into a strained and high-pitched customer service voice onstage last…
LOS ANGELES — Netflix announced they plan on adapting an English language version of the hugely successfully Korean drama “Squid Game” which will depart from…
LOS ANGELES — Live show overlords Ticketmaster instituted a new paywall that hides exactly how much users are going to be gouged in unnecessary fees…
WHEELING, W. VA — Aging punk roommate Dennis “Onion” Wilkins ritualistically bequeathed the key that allows them to steal toilet paper from Wendy’s to his…
Capitalism has been around for at least as long as I’ve been alive, so it’s safe to say it’s here to stay. Since we’re stuck…
COLUMBUS – Self-proclaimed anti-capitalist, James McCarthy, expressed his true feelings for his long-term partner by forgetting it’s Valentine’s Day for the fourth year in a…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Attendees at a recent Foo Fighters concert were treated to a special surprise when the band brought fans on stage to play…
LOS ANGELES — Fans of the Misfits were thrilled yesterday as the original lineup of the highly influential punk band reunited to verbally harass a…
WASHINGTON — The US economy showed signs of rebounding after it added 943,000 new opportunities for workers to be exploited by employers in July, according…
SEATTLE — Amazon Prime Air UAV Drone #434001 was written up by its supervisor for taking a three minute refueling break during hours that it…
WESTBURY, N.Y. — Multiple despondent mourners confirmed that local punk “Fast” Eddie Gwan recently saved thousands if not more in expensive preventative care by simply…
HEAVEN — Local divine and benevolent deity, God, updated His LinkedIn profile yesterday, changing His title to Content Creation Ninja in the first step to…
NEW YORK — NYU student Joanna Ruiz was reportedly charged an additional $34 while talking with customer service to refute a $30 charge to her…