Page 5 – HARDTIMES

August 24, 2022

When I first heard Metallica was doing another album with the world-famous San Francisco Symphony a few years ago, I…

August 15, 2022

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. – Sophomore Cinema and Media Studies power couple Rumi Saito and Kyle Reynolds are having difficulty selecting a…

July 16, 2022

Some people pair outfits and accessories or wine and cheese, but my specialty is pairing well-crafted cocktails with pants-shitting anger…

July 3, 2022

SOUTH BEND, Ind. – Rumors of sexual tension between Martin’s Super Market employees Jordan Williams and Jackie Martinez were determined…

June 6, 2022

LAKEVILLE, Ind. – Townsfolk are bracing for waves of fiery lust caused by local sex symbol Scott Bailey’s distended, green…

May 28, 2022

Sorry, bro, but we’re out of mediums. We don’t have one in any of the other tees, long-sleeve tees, pullovers,…

May 23, 2022

Ew bro, put that White Claw down. Do you actually think that mass-produced piss water is good? Bro, wait until…

May 14, 2022

I know you aren’t a big fan of Dave, but this is a really long tour. He’s a great guy…

April 5, 2022

I know I’m not what you expected in a future son-in-law, but your daughter is marrying a guy with the…

April 5, 2022

I know I’m not what you expected in a future son-in-law, but your daughter is marrying a guy with the…