PITTSBURGH — Local tenant Bob Kasah was shocked to find his child was painted over in his sleep by his completely spatially and situationally unaware…
I went to the event this weekend. There were street artists, rides, food that was out of this world, and holy shit so much violence.…
BALTIMORE — Local man Clyde Harris showed great restraint when he gently and thoughtfully relocated the Line 6 Spider that scared his girlfriend to the…
MILFORD, Conn. – Local man Gary Miller’s fleeting moment of peace away from his grueling, hellish, and tedious daily life was instantly destroyed by the…
I got sucked into one of those Pinterest rabbit holes, and fell in love with the simplicity of some of the recipes the platform had…
You know what? I’m sick and tired of you chicken-shit slacktivists always pandering and never putting your asses on the line. You hide behind your…
I was looking at tour dates for one of those younger up-and-coming bands and I couldn’t help but notice that their tour was broken into…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local punk household, “The Underground Failroad,” is grieving for their microwave, which is considered “no longer functional” after the +30 button gave…
NEW YORK — Local Band Twice Forgotten is ecstatic in their naivety after negotiating their first record contract despite the fact the executive clearly said…
First off, let me profusely apologize for asking if this gig pays. I had no idea how much it would possibly offend you, the promoter,…
It started out like any other Tuesday. I was day-drinking with my usual tallboys of Bud Light Chelada with Clamato, when I realized that I…
I am here today to talk about a false equivalency that has finally bothered me to the breaking point. Folks, the weather is not “Bipolar.”…
Oh, hey there. This is a pretty cool party, right? I couldn’t help overhear a conversation you were having earlier when you said that you…
DENVER — Members of local band Shady Hoops are grinding their teeth as their band meeting devolved into an unending lecture about proper cable management…
It all happened so fast. My wife and I just purchased an L-shaped couch, and I was tasked with the horrifying mission of finding some…