Boyfriend Safely Moves Line 6 Spider Outside Instead of Killing It
BALTIMORE — Local man Clyde Harris showed great restraint when he gently and thoughtfully relocated the Line 6 Spider that…
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Robert John Scucci — Page 6
85 stories found
Gas Pump TV Ruins Only Three Minutes Man Has To Himself
MILFORD, Conn. – Local man Gary Miller's fleeting moment of peace away from his grueling, hellish, and tedious daily life…
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Help! I’ve Been Getting All My Meal Ideas From Pinterest, and Now the FBI Thinks I’m the Mason Jar Killer
I got sucked into one of those Pinterest rabbit holes, and fell in love with the simplicity of some of…
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I Know This Might Make Me Lose Followers, but Here’s a Completely Safe Take on Things That 100% Of You Will Agree With
You know what? I’m sick and tired of you chicken-shit slacktivists always pandering and never putting your asses on the…
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Back in My Day, We Toured Year Round Because We Were Shitty Dads
I was looking at tour dates for one of those younger up-and-coming bands and I couldn’t help but notice that…
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+30 Button On Microwave Finally Gives Out
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local punk household, “The Underground Failroad,” is grieving for their microwave, which is considered “no longer functional”…
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Record Exec Accidentally Says “They’re Gonna Sign It, They’re Gonna Sign It, Holy Shit, I Can’t Believe These Idiots Are Gonna Sign It,” Out Loud
NEW YORK — Local Band Twice Forgotten is ecstatic in their naivety after negotiating their first record contract despite the…
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Sorry for Asking if the Gig Pays or Not, It’s Just That I’m Not Fucking 12
First off, let me profusely apologize for asking if this gig pays. I had no idea how much it would…
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Opinion: You Can Get Pretty Fucked Up Off Non-Alcoholic Mouthwash Too
It started out like any other Tuesday. I was day-drinking with my usual tallboys of Bud Light Chelada with Clamato,…
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If The Weather Is So “Bipolar,” How Come It Never Wrote A Rock Opera About My Cat Then Cried For 3 Hours?
I am here today to talk about a false equivalency that has finally bothered me to the breaking point. Folks,…
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